Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
