Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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