Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
