Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
