this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
