you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
