My friends, they love my intelligence
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
accomplished twins. life is a go
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
