Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
