Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
