The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
