Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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