ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
