3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize