You're my little dorito
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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