you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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