Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
