I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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