We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
