I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
