i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize