I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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