I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
