It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
