Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
