I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
