Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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