halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize