yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize