So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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