so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My balls are so social today.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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