I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
