what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
