I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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