She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Randomize
