If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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