Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
