try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
