You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
