Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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