i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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