Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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