We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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