just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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