Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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