Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
