She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
