yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize