He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
