I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
