singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
