Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
