you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
