are you still at the devil's house?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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