Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
