Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
