chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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