I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
