hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
