I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
