I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
