Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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