Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
