haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
