On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
