It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize