He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
