i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
