Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
