I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
