Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
