Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
