you have to choose: penises or morals?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize